It’s yet another blog post about one of John Mayer’s songs. This time, it’s about one of his most recent hit “Last Train Home” from his newest album Sob Rock that came out a few months ago. The song has an 80’s music, particularly coming from the flavors of Toto and Steve Perry’s music. It unusually refreshing to hear John come back with a throwback.

Months have passed and I still haven’t lost zest with listening to this song over and over, maybe because, more than anything, I find the words of the song to be the exact same words I find deep in my heart. Listening to the song feels like listening to my heart. I love most of John’s songs to be songs I hear as I live in the tune of my life.

The lyric of the song is a masterpiece, but there is one line that really spoke a lot to who I have become lately:

“No matter how you work it, things go wrong, I put my heart where it don’t belong”

This line comes from a John who has done a great deal of self-reflection. If there is anything that describes what my life has become this past year, it has been a life of self-reflection. Without disclosing the details, I made decisions– decisions that came with regret, grief, anger, and disillusionment. Looking back, the decisions I made happened for a reason. They happened so that I can get to know myself as wholeheartedly as I should. Looking back, I strived to make my life as perfect as it should, perfect in a way that it will go the way I want it to. As I did so, I made decisions and held on to things that came with regret, grief, anger, and disillusionment.

I wrestled with God who made me go through the experience because it was the only way for me to learn such a valuable lesson. I learned that mistakes inevitably come in as we strive to make our lives better. No matter how much we work on our lives to be better, we will find our hearts to be where it shouldn’t be. We make mistakes. The most important lesson I bring to the beginning of my 30’s is that living well is not a matter of creating our life according to the way we like it, but to be constantly aware of ourselves, particularly aware of the mistakes we are making.

Life becomes better not by making it the way we want it to be, but by acknowledging that mistakes will happen and making sure we put out our hearts back to the right place over and over.

The John Mayer that wrote this song is a deeply reflective, an accepting, and a joyful John Mayer. It is refreshing to find a song that reminds me of who I have become – a John Paul that has become deeply reflective, accepting of what life brings and takes away, and joyful. This is a John Paul who has gained an understanding that no matter what happens, life goes on as a train. The train continues.